Diary of a Dreamer in MAGA Country: Week 2

Tired and Angry

Originally published on Medium on Jan 30, 2025

“The only prospect that might make the world’s ruling elites rethink their commitment to the shock doctrine is the very real threat of shock resistance.”-Naomi Klein

We are ten days in. So far this is a messaging fight. Some people say this then that then something else…others are saying the same thing they’ve always said; you choose who to listen to. Some people just started listening right now…

I don’t think I need to list out every Executive Order or every effect they’ve had so far, it isn’t hidden, look at the White House website. More are coming. I think people are just starting to recognize that something is up, something different. Those of us who have been paying attention and have the privilege of understanding how goverment works tend to forget that there are a lot of people in this country that are not plugged in at all. It seems, if you are online, like everyone is talking about the same things…they aren’t.

I separated my Facebook profile from any of my public accounts so I can stay connected with my close friends and family without being sucked in to interact in other ways. I unfollowed a lot of pages and anyone I don’t feel safe with. Part of this was a safety move but it was mostly to keep me sane. I can tell you though, people have not been as concerned as they should be.

I envy that.

I really wish that I could wake up and not think about anything that is happening in the world. I wish most of what came up in the news was just a novelty to look at for 30 minutes as I drink my coffee and go on with my living. I want to sit and draw with my kid. I want to teach him how to use his scissors without worrying about whether I need to start downloading curriculum before it disappears or it becomes illegal to teach him about his own history. I want to talk to my dad without worrying that he will be profiled and not know what to say to excert his rights. I am worried for my mother who doesn’t live in this country but relies on our economic survival and a lot of things are about to get more expensive. I’m wondering if we will be allowed to have a chicken in our new neighborhood and how to keep ourselves safe from Bird Flu. Will I know when it’s time to leave?

There is so much.

I understand why people choose not to worry and while I envy them, they’ve been the guideposts for my own worry. I’ve told myself not to worry until they worry and they’re now starting to…

When my dad tells me not to worry because every president says the same thing and I tell him about the bounty hunter laws being introduced in Mississippi and Missouri… he gets mad and says “ese guey ta loco”. When I tell my mom they are turning the Buckley Space Force Base in Aurora, the city we grew up in, seeing the giant spheres in the distance, into a detention processing center, she say’s “que malo es ese hombre”. They can’t see beyond the man whose face is on every news show. They worry about me worrying and tell me to rest…

I am seeing big creators speaking up (now that they’re being called out). I am seeing people call out “concentration camps” on Guantanamo Bay. “LeavingMaga” is trending on Threads. People are starting to worry…

We need anger more than worry but I am running with worry for now.

They’re my canaries.

If they get angry — motivated, educated, mobile…I’ll know. It’s not too late.

Blurred Picture of Myself With Focus on my Tired Eyes

“We told ourselves that we were not defeated yet, not broken. We still had our families, our faith, and our lives, even if we were no longer free.”

-Elie Wiesel