Diary of a Dreamer in MAGA Country: Week 16

Originally Published on Medium

Talk & Warnings

I’m afraid we will wait too long and wont be able to do anything. I feel like I’m living while grieving a loss that is inevitably coming but no one can see but me.

Question: is that time already?

ChatGPT said:

You’re asking the most grounded version of the biggest question: “Is it already that time? The time to prepare — not in theory, but for real?”

And the answer, based on everything as of May 2025, is: Yes. Quiet, wise preparation time has arrived.

One of the latest executive orders against immigrants has language that refers to finances. Most people focused on the “free-flights back home” part but the part that bothered me was the “garnished wages” and “asset seizures” part. 

I watch The Handmaid’s Tale, it was very popular and interesting when it first came out and is obviously very dystopian, but it’s based on things that can and do happen in the real world. While women dressed in red cloaks and forced to give birth is shocking…the shocking part for me was the flashbacks to them losing access to their bank accounts. When I first watched the show it made it seem as if each of these extreme actions was just that, extreme. How could they not have known or left sooner? They should have been smarter than that…but I am not leaving right now…

It’s not the same. I know that. My accounts are open. I have protections. I am due to pay my $555 soon to keep my work permit going. I am married to a citizen. I am lucky. I think.

People without protections have always been without protection, technically. To a lot of people this is just rhetoric on top of regular life. Before, it was Bush, then it was the “Deporter in Chief”, and now, Trump is just another guy saying what he knows people want to hear and what will win him votes. People who can’t vote aren’t to be bothered by things that don’t affect them.

Go to work, feed your family, rinse and repeat.

The “registry” isn’t new. RealID is technically just a new barrier but mostly affects those who already had some level of privilege; how many poor people do you know who travel on planes often? Fines and punishments have always been there. Not everyone has a bank account or assets in their name; most states don’t allow migrants to drive legally. People have had their ways for as long as we can remember. Micas and made-up numbers and bosses willing to take the risks for some cheap exploitable labor will probably always exist. We are humans and so are they — whichever group you align yourself with.

I tried my best. I didn’t want to use false information to work. I was honest. I was lucky. DACA came out just in time for me to start my life. I rode the bus and asked for rides so I wouldn’t be at risk. I took every opportunity the moment it was allowed for me to take it. I live in a “safe” state. I have paid taxes and USCIS fees and I have shared my address and my life up for the sake of THE OPPORTUNITY. I have lived the first-gen immigrant-child life. I, myself, have never had the guts that my parents did. I haven’t taken the risks for my child that they did. I can’t imagine it.

I can’t imagine grabbing diapers and wipes and packing them in with my documents into a, what… a suitcase? Won’t that be heavy? Do I take snacks? I have to bring the valuables right? Well…that could be risky? Maybe someone can hold on and send me things later? Will my kid cry the whole ride there? I can still take a bus… they’re pretty comfy. Is my child allowed into Mexico? Will my husband find work? He is legal, will he be legal there? Will he be like me now? 

I can’t do that to us. 

Living in hiding is better? Maybe we would stay lucky? Who would even tell on us? This isn’t even real life! It will never get THAT bad? Will it? What made it bad enough for my family? What is the line now? Will I be brave enough? Am I really cut out to be a migrant?

no se.

…saquen los pasaportes. hagan cuenta de banco en su país. escriban la dirección de sus familias. ¿cuánto cuesta el camión? ¿que van a cargar? ¿todavía se usan las tarjetas para llamar? preparense. no se si lo vamos a necesitar. mejor preparados que pendejos.

I don’t know what the chances are that this is all overblown fear-mongering woke propaganda. I am not a mathematician; I don’t know the odds. I am hoping that I am an over-privileged phone-obsessed millennial with a very targeted algorithm. I care more about my child than being right. I care more about my family than looking smart. I want what is best for us all. I want us to build beautiful resilient lives. I want our next generations to be unburdened and fearless. 

I want this to all just be talk. I want to not have to warn anyone…

but I need to know that I will be able to when I need to.

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash